I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My vagina just clenched in fear
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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