You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
