Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
