Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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