Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
where are my eyebrows?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
