I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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