I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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