I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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