i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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