You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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