You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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