Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
