To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
