You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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