If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
