I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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