i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
