how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
