plz talk dirty to me
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
