Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm always down for nudity.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
