You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
