Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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