dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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