On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
