chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
