he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
