Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
