hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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