Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize