Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize