Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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