So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
false alarm. still invincible.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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