What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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