Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
