Don't you send me to vm
are you so shy because you have an std?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
