i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
