worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
