This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
