I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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