I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize