tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
