I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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