I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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