yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
