it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
