i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
May the power of my ass compel you!!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
