I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
