sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
