your thong is hanging out like whoa
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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