Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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