Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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