Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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