why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So squirting runs in the family.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
