I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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