The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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