i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
