what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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