You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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