After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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