so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
