i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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