I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
