I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
