the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
